I decided this morning to shake things up and paint without a sketch -- go figure after yesterday's post, right? Here's the result of me distracting myself from the dread of going to the doctor today. My doctor so kindly (*much sarcasm*) lowered my anxiety medication when I was going through the break up of a long term serious relationship. I know, such compassion, huge wow, right? so I've been a bit of a wreck when it comes going out and doing things. Hey, did you know I need my medication to drive? Yep. I couldn't pass the driver's test until they put me on it. Fucking artists. We're all mental. <^.~> Let's face it, doctors don't really care anymore if you're an agoraphobic nut case. Luckily, I set a few pills aside for emergencies like today. But I have no idea what I'm going to do once I run out. For those of you of the, "push through it," attitude -- I push through more shit in a day than you even know. It's called a fucking illness for a reason. I'm getting off topic, but I just want to say that for those of you also dealing with stigmas, discrimination, a doctor's prejudice against a certain medication that works for you -- I feel your pain and I'm sorry you're suffering. I hope you find the strength to keep fighting for your well-being and your rights as an adult and human being to live your life to its fullest and happiest potential. You should be treated as the unique individual you are, and with love and compassion, but unfortunately in our society -- that's not the case. I could go on, but I'd only end up getting in too deep and getting angry and even more hurt and frustrated -- because that's what all this does to people that actually need, say like me, and my diazepam. I fill my script once a month. I don't run out of pills by then, I'm just in the habit of filling all of my meds monthly. I take my meds responsibly and I've never had any addiction issues or cravings. I don't have an addictive personality. Diazepam helps my chronic pain and my panic and anxiety disorder. Yes, I've done cognitive behavioral therapy. I've done so much else. But if I have a headache and can take Tylenol -- it's my body, my choice. I'm old enough to decide for my damn self. Honestly, we really need to get the fuck out of each other's asses. That's my opinion.
And I'm forcing myself to stop... Ha!
Here's the painting I did. <^.^>