“It Gets Better.”
When you say this to a person suffering from depression, you might as well be barking.
That wasn’t meant to be figurative.
To a depressed person, it’s absolute meaningless drivel.
“It gets better.”
*Insert head tilt.*
*Insert look of incomprehension.*
It’s like holding a drowning person underwater and saying from above, “It’ll be okay, soon.” For one, they’re underwater so whatever you’re saying is distorted. For two, um, the drowning thing – yeah, that.
A drowning person knows they’re drowning.
Likewise, eventually, inevitably, depressed people -- well, we realize at some point that we’re drowning, too. We realize we’re being held under by the gnarled hands of our inner demons; grief, loss, depression, etc.
It’s not enough to tell people, “It gets better,” anymore. This, I feel, is becoming a sort of cop out. “It gets better,” isn’t teaching us to connect with each other. It’s teaching us to shout over the waves, but to never truly and compassionately connect.
Sometimes, people don’t want to hear, “It gets better.”
They just want someone to listen and try to understand. They just want someone to say, “I’m here for you,” and not only mean, but prove it.
I guess, that’s my big message with this post. If you know anyone in your life that’s depressed – don’t seek to shout over their waves or to discredit their feelings in any way, shape, or form. Too often and far too easily, we’re quick to try and offer reassurance. Sometimes, what people really need is just a little love, understanding, and a friend to lean on.
So, don’t just say, “It gets better.”
Go out there and make it better -- more often than not, just loving and listening to someone is a considerably more powerful gesture.
That’s all for now.